Now I see my weight as a side effect of my emotional eating. And my obsession with thinness was just the thing to make me feel like a failure when I over indulged in "bad" foods, driving me to (guess what?) overeat MORE. Hence the cycle.
So I am making a list of the 20 things I will do when I am free of emotional eating:
1.) Go to a restaurant without worrying about breaking a diet, just enjoying the company of others.
2.) Have friendships without constant discussions of weight loss.
3.) Exercise because it feels so GOOOOOD.
4.) Enjoy the side effects that come from a healthy attitude about food: smaller clothes, a fit body, etc.
5.) Be happy in the knowledge that I can nourish myself and feed my spiritual side, not obsessively thinking about eating or avoiding food.
6.) Have fun all day!
7.) Be a good role model to my children.
8.) Avoid the discomfort of overeating: bloating, nausea, sometimes diarrhea and gas.
9.) Listen to and respect my body's needs.
10.) Be free to watch television, go to the store, drive a long distance, or stay up past 8 p.m. without eating mindlessly.
11.) ENJOY food when I do eat it, fully and with all my consciousness.
12.) Look beautiful because I love myself, not because I am thin.
13.) Not have to have my husband feel the need to label his food for fear I will eat it all in a night time binge.
14.) Be a positive role model for the youth a work with - they will see a woman who has reached a goal and glows with the self actualization that accompanies that.
15.) Have the mental space to be creative.
16.) Save money by buying only the food I really need.
17.) Trusting my hunger means freedom from scales, calorie counting, portion sizing and all other restricting.
18.) Eating what my mind and body wants without guilt or fear, but with trust in my body.
19.) Be REAL, not stuffing down feelings, thoughts and words with food.
20.) Stop worrying about being judged because of my size.
I did it!!! And I WILL do it.
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