VLCP Day 7: Supplement review

I am trying to use a few supplements/practices to enhance my hcg protocol. Here are the ones I am using and how they helped me.

Green coffee beans: 800 mg twice a day. I feel like it is a great energy kick with no jitters. Out makes the diet twice as easy to follow IMHO.

Skin brushing: Definite cleansing and skin tightening effect. I don't miss lotion since the skin brushing keeps my skin so soft.

Triphala: Keeps me regular, and is not addictive or problematic with intestinal flora. I highly recommend this.

Probiotics: I generally take these regularly for immune function and GI health, but am hopeful that I can also get rid of excess candida during my protocol.

Msm emergen-c: For skin tightening and immune function.

Callanetics/Pilates: This has really helped my back. It's very gentle, and an easy workout promoting tone without a huge energy expenditure. I stick to shorter workouts.

I currently am fighting a cold. Things like this generally derail a protocol for me, but I don't think that will happen this time. I read somewhere that you MUST do 23 days or you risk gaining all the weight and then some. This makes perfect sense to me. The first time I did the protocol I cheated so much but I finished it. I never gained it back until recently with all of these uncompleted protocols. So now with more at stake, I feel more prepared than ever.

Skin Brushing: A Love Story

So today is day 6 on my current VLCP on hcg. My total loss is 7 pounds and currently TOM is in full swing. I ran out of drops for a whole day, so the timing on that couldn't have been better.

I have between skin brushing every morning. I found a link with picture instructions: http://greensmoothiegirl.com/articles/healthy-habits/skin-brushing/

It. Is. Wonderful. I had tried it before with the simple "brush toward the heart" instructions, but using these instructions have made a difference I never had seen. My skin is soft and glowing, I'm not at all constipated, and when I do it, I feel so great. Its likemaking peace with my body, every part. Spending a few second just on my thighs, or hips, or abdomen . . . like saying, "thank you, thighs, for supporting me, hips, thanks for supporting my pregnancies, let me take care of you now. Abdomen, you've been through it with the surgeries and babies. Thank you for your hard work."

I felt positive all day. I recommend the skin brushing on so many levels.

Just Do It. Never Quit.

I was reading back through this blog and it is amazing to me how many times I have attempted and how many times I have not completed my goal for a protocol. I have gained a bit of weight and I am above when I first started this. My highest recent weight is 240.

Sounds like all failure, right? Not at all! I have not binged in months. I enjoy getting dressed and even though I still have fat thoughts, they don't plague me like they used to. Although I haven't been eating the most nutritionally, I have been able to eat with less judgment. I feel like this progress equals more than a hundred pounds in terms of my mental health.

In other news, I am on day 5 of another round one. My main goal is a successful phase three. I want to lose at least 50 pounds, but my plan is to keep going until I am losing 3 pounds or less a week and then transitioning to phase 3. I want to do phase 3 with some of the leptin reset principles. And then take a break from dieting and try living before another round.

VCLP day 18. My body is putting in work!

I have really been taking the time to notice how great I feel. No need for coffee, I am full of natural energy. I've been sleepy at night. One thing I am trying to do is take a probiotic every day. Since I don't usually eat the melba, I can use this as a yeast cleanse. I also take a third of a Triphala, which helps with elimination. I feel like I even am thinking more clearly!

Last night I knew I was going to cheat. I didn't plan on it, but I was alone, and I didn't see an end in sight to the grudge match going on here in my house. Instead, I sat on the couch and talked to myself. I told myself that I knew I needed to feel heard. I knew I wanted that crunch to just let my jaw lose and distract myself from the unfairness of this ridiculous stand off. I sat with my hands over my eyes. Then I prayed. And I sat waiting for the urge to pass.

And it did.

VCLP day 18. My body is putting in work!

I have really been taking the time to notice how great I feel. No need for coffee, I am full of natural energy. I've been sleepy at night. One thing I am trying to do is take a probiotic every day. Since I don't usually eat the melba, I can use this as a yeast cleanse. I also take a third of a Triphala, which helps with elimination. I feel like I even am thinking more clearly!

Last night I knew I was going to cheat. I didn't plan on it, but I was alone, and I didn't see an end in sight to the grudge match going on here in my house. Instead, I sat on the couch and talked to myself. I told myself that I knew I needed to feel heard. I knew I wanted that crunch to just let my jaw lose and distract myself from the unfairness of this ridiculous stand off. I say with my hands over my eyes. Then I prayed. And I say waiting for the urge to pass.

And it did.

Past 2 days

The past two days have been really really rough. It started with a big fight with my after which he left. My most vulnerable time for a binge is when I am alone. Add in the frustration of the argument and it was just all bad. Yesterday was the same.

I keep telling myself that every time I give in to eating emotionally I give those feelings, habits and addictions more power. I tell myself not to judge myself for eating off protocol (I'm not binging, at least), and that I sympathize with my actions rather than feeling guilty. I gained 2 pounds over the past two days, also. We'll see how tonight goes.

VLCD 13. The trap of commercial satisfaction

I just watched this video from Robin Phillips Woodall, the one about the mother whose dieting affected her son.  I have heard, over and over again, that the cult of the good body is akin to the dieting cult.  I was listening to this song, and it struck me: which ever part of this deficit based society you buy into, it requires that same kind of crazy.  Because once you have that body, you would give anything to maintain it.  Once you have that house, that car, that look, those clothes, IT defines who you are.  You are no longer in control of your fate, the very clothes, car, size, etc that gave you the life you thought you wanted are now the things your life depends on.  Think about those "celebrities" who have lost their fame and have done just about anything to gain it back, or to achieve it at another level.  

That is not a life.  It's a trap.


Today I avoided the coffee with too much milk, but there was another issue. 
I am not spacing out my drops well. These led me to eat brussel sprouts roasted in a little oil. 
I think I got too hungry because it was 12 hours between my first and second doses.

VCLP 12: In the thick of it

I have to admit: I have been subbing a Café Misto for a meat serving for the past three days. I don't know if it's the worst thing, or proof that I won't commit to the diet or evidence that I was hugged too much as a child. I'm not mad at myself for it. But I think I'm quitting it. I understand where Robin is coming from when she emphasizes that these are HORMONES we're messing with. Hormones we don't fully understand. So if I say my goal is body rehab, not just weight loss, I need to set my body up for a good clean reboot-not just a quick drop.

Here are the health problems I have gained with the extra weight:
Achy joints
Reflux
Rashes
Diarrhea
Worsened Asthma
High blood pressure

I'm so glad I'm putting my body first and taking this seriously.

VLCD 9. Exhaustion, Action, Work

Not much to say about today. So much work in this training I'm doing on my self, and it's so much to process. No time for emotional eating that's for sure :)

All I ate was a few dried strawberries, a hamburger patty and a bowl of cabbage hamburger soup. Oh and a cafe misto with stevia.

VCLP day 6. Setbacks and Improvements

So the bad first. I weighed today. I felt really bad because I had decided to not weigh at least until Monday. I feel like I let myself down because that was the commitment I made for myself. I am so tired of this life; of binging and relying on fluid as an emotional crutch. I told a friend today that I would rather lose this dependence to dieting and emotional eating than I would to lose weight. So I have to keep that focus in front of me. I can succeed with that as a goal. I can succeed a lot quicker than I can lose 100 pounds. So I need to make sure at all times that is where my focus is staying.
I did lose 10 pounds.
Successes! I just ate half of my chicken, realized I was full and stepped away. I don't know when I've been able to do that. Let's see If I can do that with every meal?

I just got this quote from a friend of a friend on Facebook and I had to add it here.  Because there are mashed potatoes in the refrigerator calling my name.

Ádìsá Ájámú

It is a horrible thing to feel stuck, to feel as though the life you desire is right within our grasps, close enough for us to see it, brush up against it, feel it but not be able to grasp it. If we understand that much of our lives are the result of choices we've made--good and bad. Then it helps us understand that wekeep getting the lack of results we've gotten thus far in life because we keep doing what we've doing. Different life results require a different life actions. It's that simple—and that hard. Life is about choices and chances, the ones we make and take, and the ones we don't. The life you desire is waiting patiently for you to change. Go get your bliss.

- Ádìsá

Vlcd 5. Protein shake review.

Today I tried Tera's Whey Protein for my lunch protein shake. I am not a huge fan of whey protein, primarily because of the taste. This was no different. Yucky with that nasty whey protein smell. Especially at $3 a serving, I do not recommend it.

My hunger was fairly manageable today. I think I ended up short a fruit and a half. But I ate brussels sprouts until I was at around a 6 on the satiety scale. But it was a true 6, and now, about 20, minutes later, I am a solid 5. I am feeling a little mentally worn out, but I feel like today was easy peasy as far as the protocol.

How To Feed My Hungry Soul

VLCD 4: Today was pretty good.  I've been struggling with being tired and last night resorted to taking a Benadryl at 2a.m. I am pretty much POP, although I do use a little non stick coconut oil spray.

I am really grappling with my mind set. I feel like I am on one side of a cliff, holding on to negativity, desperation about weight loss, self doubt and I'm looking across a chasm and on the other side are all of my gifts; creativity, self love, friendships, trust, a lives while person. What is in between me and me self actualized, productive life?

Not my weight. I think it's the distractions of technology and my tendency to plan plan plan. Rather than just be zen and explore my creative productive side, I fill my time calculating pounds that I should lose. I fill my time on Facebook. I watch television shows filled with commercials and messages that I am not enough.

I want to jump this chasm.

Goals: Consider a daily limit for social media.
Limit television to preplanned viewing.
Quit thinking about the next weight loss plan.

I will update and revisit these goals.